To help you set yourself free from feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, and shame, using Deep Relaxation, Guided Imagery, and Self Affirmation.
The Source of the Problem:
Many of our reactions to the world are the results of the behavior of the subconscious mind, “System One, that lives in your paleomammalian cortex, the limbic system. The role of this part of our mind is primarily to protect us from injury. For this reason, it is very sensitive, and constantly on the lookout for and reacting to danger, and the emotions it produces directly affect your conscious mind.
As a result of this our minds have a negative bias, which means we’re much more alert to threatening, and dangerous stimuli. This is especially true for children. If they do not receive enough love and positive support, and especially if they receive a large amount of judgment, criticism, condemnation, and contempt, they will tend to develop a personal narrative of being defective, inadequate, fearful, and socially anxious, and will believe themselves incapable of being successful, loved, respected, or competent.
The result is the shame-based personality that tends to overfocus on disempowering feelings, while failing to appreciate and focus on the many positive, supportive, potentially empowering experiences and messages in our lives. The result is a kind of “Learned Helplessness.” This program aims to help you put things back into balance and you back into the driver’s seat.
You will learn to relax deeply and take control of your mental images through deep relaxation techniques, then to create positive self-imagery to replace the old self-condemning images. Positive Affirmations, (or Positive self-talk) will be used to speed up and deepen the acceptance of a new narrative in your life.
A valuable adjunct to healing and recovery when there are persistent feelings of shame, inadequacy, helplessness, feeling not good enough, socially anxious, or fearful and/or when there are behaviors of attacking, criticizing, or harming oneself.
Recommended Use - Detailed Description of Exercises:
As you listen to the soothing voice and music, you will mindfully enter a state of deep relaxation, let go of mental and emotional distractions, and enter the present moment. This is Guided Imagery. Because relaxation is the direct antidote to stress and fear, it allows you to disconnect from your negative past narrative for a while. During these moments of freedom, you will be invited to mentally recreate a positive past event, a time when you experienced love, compassion, victory, praise, or other positive emotions... to re-experience those powerful feelings and amplify them so they become stronger and easier to access. These feelings are the powerful stimuli you will use to empower the change you want to make in yourself and your life.
Using Guided Imagery, you will then use these loving feelings to help heal the traumatized child within.
Finally, you will use Mental Image Rehearsal to empower a future image of yourself, and to literally write your own life’s script for the future. The powerful positive feelings you evoked from the past will be the reward you use to train your mind and body to respond in the confident, expressive, loving, and passionate way you really want to.
Because the old narrative of the shameful you have been reinforced thousands of times over many years, it may take a while to override it. For best results, listen to the imagery or the affirmations or both a minimum of once or twice a day in the beginning, until thinking this way becomes easy, and you find yourself approaching the world from this new perspective throughout your day.
Your willingness to experience your past positive experiences strongly is your most powerful tool. If you find it difficult to think positively about yourself, even given those positive experiences in your past, call someone who really loves or respects you . . . even your relatives or close friends, and ask them to tell you all the positive things they feel about you and why, as you close your eyes and let yourself feel. Yes, you can!
We all talk to ourselves (silently if not out loud). Your daily self-talk, “I’m just no good at math... I could never make the team...Nobody will want to date me with my acne...if I speak up people will laugh at me...I’m from the other side of the tracks, I could never be successful...” is a major determinate of your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Replacing those negative phrases with positive ones that support the narrative you want to become true for you in your life retrains your subconscious using the same process that created the shame in the first place, but this time using positive, caring, compassionate, and loving support.